“Ah-Yay!”

I don’t usually post about any of the challenges, but wanted to offer a little glimpse into the autism family life for those who don’t experience it: Bath time has become extremely difficult. Lila hears the water running, and her anxiety goes from zero to one hundred (within a split second) – she screams and appears completely overwhelmed.

I want more than anything to be able to ask her WHY she is so upset – what’s wrong, baby? So I can change it. So I can ask – but she can’t tell me.

This week while mid-meltdown, she grabbed my face in her little hands, looked me in the eyes, and repeated slowly and deliberately. “Ah-Yay”……”Ah-Yay!”…… Momma, “AH-YAY!!!” I have absolutely no idea.

Maybe it’s what is making bath so challenging for her, and she’s desperately trying to tell me. “Ah-Yay!”. I started to cry. I always tell her I’m so sorry – that one day we will get there – I promise. It’s the tiny moments like that that absolutely break my heart. As always we keep working – we’re warriors, all three of us

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