I don’t write about my husband Bill very often (he doesn’t particularly like his own personal details being shared), but I felt strongly inclined to do so today.
You see – there are different kinds of love. There is the superficial “bring you candy and flowers” type of love, and there is what Bill and I have – which is the “she’s in the middle of a massive meltdown, please grab some milk and a blanket and let’s get through this as a team”-type love.
He had no idea what he was getting into when he met me. He was the extroverted, popular, party-type of guy. I was the introverted, socially awkward yet extremely loyal (and nerdy!) type girl. On paper it probably shouldn’t have worked. But it has. Better than anything I ever could have imagined.
He works at least 60-hour weeks on a different schedule than me – he takes Lila to school in the morning and picks her up, takes her to daycare, works a full day, then comes home to play with Lila before bed. I love to watch those two together.
Our Little Lady has very individualized relationships with both her Daddy and me. I am safety and predictability. I follow the routines, I know them like the back of my hand (her routines are now my routines). Daddy on the other hand is allowed to be unpredictable and fun – from him (and only him) – she accepts and loves that particular way of being. I know how she feels. I probably never would have gone anywhere or done anything if it weren’t for him. I was the good girl – I was too unsure of myself, had too much anxiety, and didn’t want to make any “wrong” decisions in my life.
Because of Bill I moved out of my home state for a couple of years, I traveled: we got married in Key West, we went on a Caribbean cruise, we got scuba certified and dove in Ambergris Caye, we climbed Mayan ruins together in Belize. We made tons of decisions that I never would have had the audacity to make on my own. And now we are on the biggest adventure that either one of us have ever encountered together – parenthood with our beautiful (and autistic) daughter Lila.
Bill has been (and always will be) the most amazing Daddy to Lila. How do I know? Because he loves and accepts me for who I am – socially awkward, quirky, and nerdy as all get out. He won’t ever judge Lila, or love her any less for being who she is. He will help her learn and grow in the same way he has done for me, and she will adore him for it. We couldn’t be in better hands, Lila B! ♥
One thought on “Lila’s Daddy”
I hope you aren’t offended by this, but it doesn’t surprise me in the slightest to hear a parent of an autistic kid describe themselves as introverted, socially awkward and nerdy. Autism is a spectrum, and there’s a category of people that scientists have termed the “broader autistic phenotype” who have traits similar to autistic people, but not pronounced enough to actually be diagnosed with autism. Around 5% of the general population is BAP, compared to around 30% of parents of autistic kids. And then, of course, there are people like my Dad, who realized he’s probably autistic after I got diagnosed.