Stop – Slow Down and Breathe…

Jackson

Sometimes I feel like our world is spinning so fast – constantly in motion – filled with never-ending chaos and so many things to do.

Somebody needs something from me in almost any given moment during the day (and night), so that’s typically what I’m focused on – the task at hand whatever it may be.

We live day-to-day; we HAVE to in order to maintain some semblance of sanity. The overall bigger picture is way too overwhelming to even attempt to take in all at once.

Well this past week I was forced to STOP everything for a minute. I got a serious reality check.

I noticed that one of our cats (Jackson) looked like he had lost some weight and was acting lethargic.

I stopped everything – took a deep breath… and really LOOKED at Jackson.

He looked horrible; very, very sick – how did I NOT notice this before? I see him every single day…

I thought about it a lot… and the truth is that while I’m snuggling with the cats at night, attempting to focus on TV, or even just talking with my husband – somewhere in the back of my head I’m CONSTANTLY thinking about Lila.

A whirlwind of topics is constantly swirling around in the background of every single thing I do:

Autism… the latest research articles and studies – Are there new things we should be trying? What are our therapy goals for this week? Have I found a Halloween costume that’s sensory-friendly enough for Lila? Have I done the laundry, cleaned up, scooped the cat litter, fed the pets, paid all the bills, got all the groceries we need, given Lila all her necessary medication, worked on glasses time, PECS cards, motor and vocal imitation, taken my pills, at least attempted to exercise today, and got everything ready for tomorrow?

It’s all so structured, our routine – and ridiculously fast-paced – never a moment to rest. We have to be “ON” 24/7, 365 days a year – and sleep deprivation only adds to the insanity.

I need to STOP researching on my phone at 10pm and just truly “be” with my husband instead.

I need to STOP rushing around trying to clean like a mad-woman in the 30 minutes I have to myself after Lila goes to sleep.

I need to just STOP…. breathe… and slow down.

Definitely a lesson learned. Jackson was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and a UTI, thankfully it can be controlled with diet and medication; and I’m very grateful that the cost of this lesson wasn’t much higher.

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